2026-01-06
I'm back in the Netherlands!
My trip to Sri Lanka was one of the best holidays I've ever had, period.
I learnt about myself, about what I want to be, my relationship to Sri Lanka, my family, my ego.
I need to forget this holiday, to recalibrate myself, to better situate my mental space for achieving my goals.
PSA: The grilled chicken salad at Jumbo is even cheaper now! It's temporarily increased by 3 cents to €3.39 from €3.36 but now it's gone down to €3.29. My friends and I suspect it's because I was aawy from 2 weeks and so demand dropped quite significantly.
A gift is just about you as it is about the one being gifted. It's about the intersection of your taste with theirs. The intersection of your (pl.) experiences.
How should I read the news? I don't need to know that some man stabbed another in some city 100s of kilometers away.
I suppose I should read what I have direct influence on.
But that's not exactly tenable. I mean, once you can vote in national elections, basically everything can affect anything, so all news is probably relevant. And even if you can't, there's something to be said about being prepared with knowledge for a decision. It doesn't make sense to have to learn and process all context regarding a decision at the point where it comes up.
But also there's something to be said of just being ... aware of what's happening in the world, right?
Back when my dad got angry, I was scared. Now, I see it's more from a place of internal frustration, not excised quite right but something I can feel pity and sympathy for.
I'm really into how i'm feeling now by Charli.
I read a blog post and I really wanted to contact the author. I was really looking forward to it, I was even daydreaming a bit about it at work. Then I found out that he has no mechanism to contact them. That made a pit in my stomach. I then tried to find his email. He mentioned he had an instagram and I began stalking him just to find his email. Then I stopped myself.
Then I started again and found his LinkedIn but I can only message him if I get premium, so I stopped.
It would've been nice to connect, he seems very sad and I think he would enjoy a random person saying hi.
I got a bunch of matches on Bumble when I was in Colombo. It helped my ego a bit. That said, it's confirming a bit of an unfortunate theory I've had about how women are attracted to me in Australia / the Netherlands. Very aznidentity / black pill -esque, which I am not too fond of.
I tell myself it's mostly confirmation bias, which is also undoubtably true, but this is not a comforting thought.